


E Pluribus Unum

by LakeYarina



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Slight Hurt/Comfort, alex improving his mental health for once in his life, good for him, john's proud too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25678990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LakeYarina/pseuds/LakeYarina
Summary: Alex opens up to John about his past in the form of a note slipped into his hands before bed, and it prompts John to do something he's been wanting to do for a while.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 4
Kudos: 78





	E Pluribus Unum

**Author's Note:**

> reworked a fic i wrote for law & order svu into a lams story. enjoy!

John turned his attention from his sketch pad when he heard the studio door creak open, smiling when he laid his eyes on Alex, who was standing in the doorway in pajama pants and one of John’s NYU Arts shirts. The smile faded however when John glanced at the clock and realized how late it was. Alex stepped inside and John made grabby hands at him, sighing contently when Alex walked right into his arms.

“I know you have a lot to finish, but I just wanted to see you before I went to bed.” Alex said, John pouting and sitting up a little straighter to press his lips to Alex’s. The kiss deepened, but Alex pulled back, fishing around in his pocket before pulling out a folded up piece of paper and pressing it into the other man’s hands. John looked between the paper and Alex, eyebrows pulled together.

“It’s not a breakup letter if that’s what you’re thinking,” Alex started, pausing when John started to unfold it and putting a hand over his to stop him. “When I leave.” He said softly and John nodded, tossing it onto his desk and leaning in for another kiss before letting Alex go. He let the door close before picking the paper back up, unfolding it completely.

_John,_

_I’ve been talking with my therapist about how I want to talk to you about my past, and be as open with you as you have been with me. Since the idea of saying everything out loud feels so jarring she suggested I write it down. And I thought that was a good idea._

John gulped, trying to keep himself from crying. He knew, though just vaguely, that this was something Alex was working on. And the knowledge of just how hard this step was for him made John want to put off reading the rest of the letter to go hold him and never let go. But he had to finish the letter before he did that, if for no other reason than to honor Alex’s progress.

_You know about my mom getting sick and the hurricane that destroyed my hometown back in St. Croix, so I’ll start after that. Not long after the hurricane my brother and I were a part of a group of orphan children who were sent to New York City to be put into the American foster care system. James and I were separated and while I have tried many times since to find him I haven't had any success. I hope he wound up with better people than I did, which is where we get into darker territory here._

_My first placement was okay, a single woman who always wanted kids. But she got pregnant and decided not to renew her license. That resulted in my getting sent to the Stevens family, who eventually adopted me. While in the year up until my adoption they treated me like their own son, the adoption being finalized seemed to flip a switch in regards to their parenting. I was physically and verbally abused. Thomas Stevens among many things, broke my wrist, cracked my rib cage and permanently fucked up my shoulder. I think his wife enabled him to an extent, but he often treated her just as poorly as he did me. This, regrettably, contributed to my first attempts at serious relationships as an adult. It was just me and my brother and my mother in St. Croix, so the only adult relationship I saw modeled for me growing up was the Stevens, and in a twisted way I thought it was normal._

_That didn’t manifest in me hurting other people, but in getting myself into situations in which my partner treated me similarly to how the Stevens did. Not all of them were incredibly awful, but the last one was. He went to jail for three years and I have a restraining order against him. His name is Samuel, and he was my last relationship before you._

John was fully crying now, wiping his eyes with his sleeve as a few stray tears landed on the notebook paper in his lap. He had his suspicions about Alex’s upbringing, based on his reaction to certain stories he told about his own father, but he had, perhaps idealistically, never so much as briefly considered his relationships with other men before him. Alex had never brought the topic up, so it had never crossed his mind to ask. And while the mental images of what his parents did made his blood boil, the idea of Alex being hurt by a romantic partner made him want to vomit. Sighing sadly with another longing look towards the door, John kept reading.

_Samuel was my breaking point and after so much mess I thought a relationship just wasn’t for me. I convinced myself that everyone that I ever developed feelings for would only turn out like Samuel or the Stevens. But then I met you. When I met you I realized that the lies I had been telling myself were just that, lies. My therapist recently referred to you as the happy ending I didn’t think I deserved and I agree completely. You’re the best person that ever happened to me. I love you so much. So much more than I’ll ever be able to express in words._

_Yrs,_

_Alex_

Carefully folding the letter back up, John opened his desk drawer, setting the paper down in it and digging around the drawer until he found where he had put the ring box he had recently obtained. Just a little over a month ago he had asked Lafayette to prod Alex about where his head was on that topic of marriage, and when he relayed it back to him that Alex had confessed that he knew he was going to marry John, he went out and bought a ring. It was a simple silver band with a diamond-encrusted into the center, the date they met engraved on the inside. John opened the box to look at it, wiping his face with a tissue this time instead of his sleeve before sticking it in his pocket and walking out of his studio down the hallway to their room. When he opened the door Alex was sitting up on the side of their bed scrolling through his phone with the lights on, clearly having been waiting up for John.

“Thought you going to sleep.” John said softly and Alex looked up from his phone with a nervous smile, shrugging. “Knew there was no way you would actually stay in the studio after you read all of that.” He said, and John laughed. They knew each other too well.

Nodding and resigning to silence, John racked his brain for how exactly he was planning on proposing, something he admittedly hadn’t put as much thought into as he probably should have. When he mentioned it to Hercules the week before he had told him “When you know, you’ll know”. But now while he knew for certain that it was the right time, he had absolutely no idea what to actually say or do.

“Well I’m glad you didn’t pass out, because there’s actually something I’ve been meaning to ask you.” He tried, Alex giving him a skeptical look. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, John padded over to in front of where he was sitting, and after a brief moment of psyching himself up, got down on one knee. Alex let him take both of his hands into his own, opening his mouth as if to say something and closing it again when he seemed to be getting choked up.

“John,” He barely got out as he watched him pull the ring box out of his pocket, John giving him an affirmative smile as he launched into the spiel he had thought up in the last thirty seconds. “You’re my happy ending too, which is why I got this ring a month ago after I sent Laf to pick your brain about if you’d say yes if I asked.” He said and Alex cracked a smile, shaking his head, “I knew you sent him, but I wanted to let you surprise me.” He mumbled, his voice cracking as he chuckled lightly through tears. John flashed a grin, tilting his head. “Surprised now?” He said, Alex nodding.

“I love you more than anything ‘Lex. You’re my best friend, my soulmate and the absolute love of my life.” John continued, moving one of his hands away to actually open the ring box. “Will you marry me?” He asked, Alex again opening and closing his mouth without any words coming out. He tried again, only this time what came out was a choked back sob.

John knew this was a “good cry”, but set the ring on their bedside table and got on the bed anyways, wrapping his arms around Alex and holding him as tightly as he had wanted to after the first paragraph of the letter. They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Alex pulled back and took a deep breath, glancing at the ring box before looking back at John.

“You gonna put the ring on my finger or what?” He said and John laughed, glad to see his snark coming through in spite of how emotional he was. Grabbing the ring box, he held back for a moment, prompting Alex to raise an eyebrow. “You haven’t actually said yes yet.” John said and Alex huffed, rolled his eyes as he tugged him in for a kiss, cupping his face in his hands. He grinned as he pulled back, running a thumb over the other man’s jaw. “Yes John, of course I’ll marry you.” He said, pulling away to watch John slip the ring onto his finger.

“I need to wash my face so we can send a photo to the group text.” Alex said through sniffles as he looked between John and his ring. Getting up, he gave his fiancé another kiss before walking out into the hallway to the bathroom.

Knowing Alex needed a moment alone John didn’t follow, instead using the time to change into pajamas and go back into the studio to turn the lights off. Alex snuck up behind him when he was walking back into their room and wrapped his arms around his waist, John humming softly and smiling at the glint of metal now shining on Alex’s hand.  
-  
The pair took a few cheesy photos to send to the group chat and post on Facebook before getting into bed, Alex resting back on John as he responded to everyone reacting to their announcement. John ran a gentle hand up and down his arm, letting Alex reply to one more comment before speaking up.

“Thanks for the letter by the way, it meant a lot to me that you found a way to share all of that.” He said. Locking his phone and setting it down, Alex scooted a little closer back into John.

“She, my therapist, wants me to work towards being able to talk about it out loud with you. I know I don’t have to, and that you wouldn’t make me. But I want to, eventually.” He said without turning around, John pressing a kiss to his hair and squeezing his forearm.

”Well now it doesn’t matter how long it takes.” He said softly. “You have me forever.” John continued, bringing his hand down to intertwine his fingers with Alex’s left hand and running a thumb over his ring. Alex decided he could respond to the rest of the comments on Facebook tomorrow, leaning back and pressing a kiss to the side of his fiancé’s face, something the Alex of ten years ago never thought would be in the cards for him.

“Yeah, I do.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was based off an answer to askreedit “when did you know you were going to marry them?” question that OFC can’t find now that i want to link it. but yeah, i originally wrote this for one of my svu ships and recently realized it fits lams too. love these boys and i missed writing them.
> 
> i live for comments <#


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